Many of us can scarcely remember a time before the Kardashian-Caitlyn Jenner feud began, and Caitlyn’s new tell-all book certainly hasn’t eased the tension.
There has been speculation for months now that the Kardashian sisters—even Kim—have completely cut Caitlyn, the only father they have known for nearly two decades, out of their lives.
Shortly after Caitlyn announced her transition in an iconic interview with Diane Sawyer nearly two years ago, it seemed as if she had started to mend fences with her four stepchildren.
But that all changed the moment Caitlyn released her new autobiography, Caitlyn Jenner: The Secrets of My Life.
The main source of the reignited feud seems to be the way the Kardashian sisters’ mother, Kris, is portrayed in the book.
In fact, after reading the book, Kris claimed the only positive memory about her seemed to be that Caitlyn said Kris was "great socially at a party once."
These are claims that have also been echoed by Kim, who was once a staunch advocate of Caitlyn and her transition.
So, did Caitlyn really trash Kris throughout her entire book? BuzzFeed News has taken the liberty of sampling some of the most important quotes about Kris in Caitlyn’s new memoir to set the record straight.
In the book, Caitlyn claims that a friend initially suggested that she ask Kris out, as they were both going through divorces at the time.
Although Caitlyn initially did not like the idea of dating a Beverly Hills socialite, she seemed intrigued once she learned that Kris had four children. At the time, Caitlyn, formerly known as Bruce, also had four children.
“Kris brings along her nanny, which is open to many interpretations, none of them good. The first time I see her [at a party] she is in a white pantsuit. She looks great. We mix into the crowd. I know a lot of people there in the way that men know a lot of people, which is to say we don’t know anyone at all and float off once the sports talk is exhausted. Kris knows everybody and everybody knows her. They are much more happy to see her than me. I have never met anyone this effortlessly social,” she said of the pair’s first date.
In Caitlyn’s own words, she fell “in love with Kris quickly” after just a few dates, and she could tell that Kris felt the same.
As for the sex, it was apparently great—at the beginning:
“Since – let’s not kid ourselves – everyone wants to know, Kris and I have good and frequent sex at the beginning. It is imbued with affection and love, but my attitude is no different than it was in high school: I’m just not entirely comfortable with it. Sex, to be sustained in a relationship, requires emotional tools that I simply do not possess because of fear of expressing emotion, to the point where it ultimately became easier to have it only sporadically and then not have it. It means giving, and while I believe I am better now, I have never been good at it.”
Perhaps the most controversial of claims is that Caitlyn says in the book that she did tell Kris of her desire to transition:
“I did tell Kris I was gender dysphoric. But given my decision roughly a year earlier not to transition, I was determined to never pursue such a path again, applying instead the same willpower and discipline of mind as I had when training for the decathlon. I tell Kris about my gender issues before I make love to her. I don’t tell her the full extent – that Trudy Hill [Caitlyn's therapist] has said unequivocally that my condition would never change and the only thing I could do was somehow try to live with it on my own terms. But I tell her a great deal. Maybe the fact we had healthy sex at the beginning, as well as my love of such “macho” activities as skiing and car racing, did indicate to her that my so-called maleness was intact. Maybe she thought that whatever gender issues I had, she could change me.”
In fact, Caitlyn claims the pair “negotiated” her need to live as a woman:
“Kris and I talk. She is willing to see what it feels like. So the first time I dress up in front of her, she seems comfortable. But I am the one who is uncomfortable. I get the feeling that Kris is willing to let me cross-dress on certain occasions only because this is what I want. She has no real interest, and it’s kind of ridiculous of me to think that she would. She doesn't want to see it or deal with it, so we never talk about it. Why would she? She fell for Bruce Jenner, not some porcelain doll knock off. So I stop after a few times. It is easier and causes fewer problems. In the past, I secretly bought how-to books [about makeup] since there was no one to help me. I keep the books, along with my meager collection of clothing, in a small closet with a lock and key in back of my own closet. Kris and I have negotiated this, since she is terrified, as I am, of one of the kids finding something.Eventually Kris and I do reach an understanding – take Caitlyn on the road – but she is not to play in our home or hometown. End of discussion.”
In the end, Caitlyn says it was her overwhelming need to live as her true self, combined with the couple’s constant fighting, that led to their demise:
“The challenge for any marriage is that we constantly change as we grow older. For a successful marriage you have to grow together. We didn’t come close. We are at each other’s throats. She is frustrated with me all the time. I am worn down. She yells and then I yell back because I always feel on the defensive. She resents that I never want to leave the house unless it means a hotel room somewhere, that I am content to sit around and watch the History Channel. She resents that I don’t really do anything besides tapings for the show.
I don’t feel like I am living anymore. I need control of my life back. I need control of my finances so I can spend money the way I want to. The house is like a train station, with people in and out, out and in. I have no privacy to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I am tired of taking it out on the road so I can spend an hour and a half to get dressed for 15 minutes of freedom. I want to see my first four children without friction and the fear that it might upset Kris. I am tired of my life consisting of secret items tucked away in a tiny closet with a lock and key.”