Mom Says She 'Definitely' Felt Differently About Her Adopted Child After Giving Birth


Read on to hear one mother’s story about how her feelings for adopted child changed as soon as she gave birth.


Adopting a child is an incredible experience. There are many reasons to chose adoption, whether it be infertility, pregnancy difficulties, or just simply the love for a child. What can happen, however, is that after a couple adopts a child (or a few children), they actually end up getting pregnant afterwards. So the big question is...do the parents feel differently about their adopted child (children) after giving birth? Quora.com offered up this question to the world, and you’ll be blown away by the responses.

Overwhelmingly, people wrote that yes, they did feel different about their adopted child after giving birth. Take a look at mother Cherilyn Amborski’s answer.

“I met my adopted daughter at 9 months old. That is when she joined our family. About 9.5 months later I gave birth to her 1st little sister. Later, I birthed 2 more girls and 1 boy. Here is how I feel differently about my adopted daughter after giving birth to biological children…” she began. “I love her even more than before. I grieve that I had to miss her first 9 months of life. With every “1st” I got to enjoy with my bio newborns, I wondered about my adopted daughter’s firsts and what they were&felt sad that I missed them. I wondered even more how and when she got that little scar on her foot…a boo-boo I wasn't there to kiss when it was fresh.”

“I also felt more connected to her birthmom.” she continued. “Thinking of what heartache it had to be leaving her baby at the hospital for whatever reason she had to…and just hoping against hope she would truly be ok. Realizing that I get to enjoy all of the things about her birth daughter that she will never have the privilege to enjoy. Yet, *I* am given the honor of being her Mama!”

One father chimed in, writing: “There is zero difference in how we feel about our first daughter. Like none. At all. She’s not our adopted daughter, she’s our daughter.” He quickly modified his answer though, adding: “Actually, that’s not entirely true. Our first daughter has been a MUCH better sleeper than our second two, so sometimes—like at 3am—we like her MORE.”

Michelle Cowhyde is a mother who shared her adoption story as well, writing: “Mine is the reverse. My first child is my biological child and my second child is adopted. I love them both more than anything in the world and joke that my daughter didn’t ruin my figure like her brother did.” she shared. “There are pros and cons for both adoption and giving birth, but one is not better than the other and the love is the same.”

What do you think about these parents' insights? Were you surprised by their answers?

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